attie: A mouse caught in a trap, saying "I Regret Nothing" (misc - regret nothing)
Attie the penguin ([personal profile] attie) wrote2013-10-13 08:06 pm
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I suffered through all the panty shots and jiggly melon boobs so you don't have to.

Whew. It's the beginning of Fall Anime Season, which means watching all the first episodes to sift out which series might be worth following. But this season seems to be extra full of crap so let me rant for a moment. I'll just go through all the titles in a row, starting at the awful and finishing with things I might actually watch.

First let's get the ones I abandoned before even getting to the end of the first episode out of the way:

NouKome aka Ore No Nounai Sentakushi Ga Gakuen Love Come O Zenryoku De Jama Shiteiru (My Mental Multiple-Choice Power Is Completely Ruining My School Romantic Comedy)
His "mental multiple-choice power" is to repeatedly have to choose between two similarly horrific forms of sexually harassing his classmates under threat of debilitating pain. It eludes me which part of this scenario is supposed to be funny. OUT.

Sekai de Ichiban Tsuyoku Naritai
Opens with a panty shot, nothing but eroticised torture for several interminable minutes until the opening credits finally provide sweet relief. I haven't the faintest clue what the story is about and I don't care any more. OUT.

Outbreak Company
Dude who likes fictional girls and not going out of his house is sent to an alternate medieval-fantasy world as an expert salesman of moe anime. Proceeds to loudly yell critiques of every woman's looks that he meets like some kind of compulsive one-person rating community. OUT.

Yuushibu, or, with full title "Yuusha Ni Narenakatta Ore Wa Shibushibu Shuushoku O Ketsui Shimashita" (I Couldn't Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Find a Job)
This looked to be in the tradition of previous seasons' "hero and dark lord find themselves in altered circumstances" series like Maou Yuusha and Hataraku Maou, so I thought it would be fun, but it turned out to be just "take knockoff setting as excuse for constant boob and panty shots". OUT.

Walkure Romanze In a jousting academy that seems to somehow have no male students beyond the lead, male lead who used to be a great jouster until he had an unlucky fall off his horse is courted by all the top knights to become their page. Meanwhile, female lead who is not a knight but seems to be juggling so many idiot balls it's seriously getting on my nerves is running away from his skirt-eating horse and accidentally gets challenged to a jousting duel. Panty shots ensue. OUT.

Then there seems to be the conceit of the season, the literally objectified 14-year-old girl.

The title of Unbreakable Machine Doll already says it all, really. Except maybe for the part where said unbreakable machine doll, who is indistinguishable from a girl in everything except her strength, persistently offers to sexually serve her master.

Arpeggio Of Blue Steel -Ars Nova- is about a girl who is literally a submarine battleship. Both of these might actually be interesting, but if I have to hear either girl repeat "I am your tool. I was made to obey you" one more fucking time I am going to scream.

Then there is this season's deplorable lack of series catering to the bishounen-inclined.

There is Diabolik Lovers, based on an otome game and thus featuring the required boyharem of sparkly vampires of various stereotypical dispositions, except - ALL THE TRIGGER WARNINGS JESUS CHRIST IN A HANDBASKET this is actually a horror series under a false flag. The main character (who is supposed to be the reader stand-in, remember, otome game) is constantly, relentlessly assaulted and spends roughly 2/3 of the first two episodes screaming "NO" and struggling. Yes, I actually watched two episodes of this because I have a thirst for pretty boys, but I cannot deal with the horror so this is OUT.

Meganebu was advertised as "glasses-wearing bishounen" but turned out to be about a bunch of not all that attractively drawn losers at an all-boys school trying to construct X-ray glasses that will let them see through women's clothes. The awfulness of this premise is somewhat softened by homoerotic undertones and the fact that 1) they pathetically fail at making a pair of glasses that does not explode on the wearer's nose, and 2) no actual women seem to exist in this universe, so in the moments before the glasses explode they just manage to see each other naked. Still OUT.

The gratuitous violence department contains guys but is nevertheless just boring:

Blaz Blue Alter Memory is about guys with big swords (not) killing each other over. and over. and over again. The most memorable part was that female soldier somehow managing to salute while wearing a poncho coat that traps her arms at her side under ribbons crossing from the back, reminiscent of a straitjacket. Yaaaawn. OUT.

Kill La Kill features some kind of orwellian high school ruled by a violent student advisory board possessing superpowered uniforms. Heroine, trying to avenge father's death, walks in and attacks, but cannot compete with superpowered uniforms until finding ultimate but bloodthirsty sentient sailor uniform in daddy's destroyed lab's cellar. Ultimate dark sailor uniform looks like a shirt when alone but turns into a collar attached to a g-string with suspenders that double as nipple covers when worn. OUT.

*puts spork down, desire to poke my eyes out subsiding*

Kyoukai No Kanata Immortal half-demon boy meets demon-hunter girl who is afraid of killing demons. Girl uses boy as killing practice because he doesn't actually die. Boy objects because being repeatedly stabbed hurts a lot. Together they set out to solve girl's life problems, or something. Out.

Gingitsune is the local temple spirit that only the main character, latest descendant of a long series of shrine maidens, can see. Also have childish quarrels with and then beg to help find a neighborhood cat. *zzzzz* out.

Non Non Biyori Tokyo city girl moves to the country and discovers what life is like when your whole school has only five students. Absolutely nothing happens. Tiny school has surprising gender segregation as the four girls hang out together all the time while the only guy, who is only mentioned once, only half on-screen, and does not have any speaking lines, is apparently hanging out all by himself somewhere else. Despite being the brother of one of the girls. You'd think they'd at least talk to him while sitting around the same table at lunch, but nope. Might watch another episode to see if it picks up a little.

Samurai Flamenco academically and athletically useless but pretty goody-two-shoes works as a model but secretly continues to dream of being a hero. Dresses up and goes out to fight petty evil one day only to get his pants stolen and then picked up by an off-duty police officer. The two bond over rewatching ancient power rangers episodes. Eminently slashable, but otherwise a bit boring. I'll put it on probation.

Galilei Donna Three sisters, descendents of Galileo, almost get kidnapped on the same day. Youngest activates giant goldfish mecha to save her family. I don't know why I failed to get hooked, so I'll try another before deciding.

Strike the Blood
Secret agent attack mage middle school girl gets assigned to observe potential terrorist teenage dude who accidentally inherited super vampire powers. Accidental vampire powers activate every time teenage dude gets turned on. Fun and politics ensues. This is going to have to be my bishounen fix for the fall...

Yowamushi Pedal is about an otaku just entering high school who accidentally impresses the cycling club by always biking to Akihabara, 41 km away, after school because he can buy a whole three extra capsule figures with the money he saves on train fare. Dearth of female characters and none of the guys are attractive, but it's a fun fandom-actually-teaches-you-plenty-of-skills story.

Coppelion is unquestionably the best offering of the season, and provides a much-needed counterpoint to the girl-tool theme mentioned before. After an unnamed nuclear disaster makes all of Tokyo unlivable, the military genetically engineers humans that can withstand extreme radiation without protective gear. The first three girls from this program, having been trained all the 15-17 years of their life for this task, enter the crumbling city to seek and rescue survivors. How and why there are survivors after so many years in the first place is a mystery they will have to unravel, while at the same time dealing with the psychological consequences of literally being made for the special purpose of saving others, often failing at fulfilling that purpose because you cannot save everyone, and most of these people actually not wanting to be saved, having stayed in the city for a reason. It's a potent mix and I'm excited to see where they're going with it.

tl;dr: watch Coppelion.

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